Rumors of Life

2006-11-13T18:09:00.000-05:00

Yes, this is a test.

new blog...

2006-08-24T15:53:00.000-04:00

hey all you avid readers.... I just transferred my blog to the following address. I'll be posting there from now on. thanks for your flexabilty!

martinmatthew.blogspot.com

see, that's easier to remember. ;-)

(some crazy blog-ets)

on the eve of the leadership summitt

2006-08-10T00:45:00.000-04:00

Since i've just realized that I actually have readers of my blog i feel somewhat obliged to write a comment, in the hopes that they will notice and will continue to comment. verily i say unto thee - if thou wouldst please continue to pester me to post while in Regent it will help me more faithfully disclose my inner thoughts and learnings to thee via the web.

my only thought tonight: pride is a deeply difficult sin to uproot. it spreads it tangling vines into all the other sin habits of our lives and prevents us from finding freedom, bliding us to the truth about ourselves and about reality. it is always best to be humbled and to give up the need to defend oneself - even if we think we are right. we ought to have inner joy that we are being humbled and matured and perfected through our circumstances, valuing more our own character of humility that our justification and defense before our friends, family, and community. God wants to make me (us) into people of true character - the character of Jesus - and he was meek and humble. not because he lacked self esteem. but because he had a perfect relationship with his Father that allowed him to be 'humbled' before men, knowing the truth about who he truly was and what he had come to do....and he pressed on to do it.

I'm onto the last chapter of Renovation of the Heart. I can't recommend it enough. Other books I am reading: A Biblical History of Israel, by Ian Provan (my OT prof this coming Fall) - probably the best OT overview I've ever read, because of its solid committment to the Christian tradition and faith and its academic integrity, thoroughness, and honesty. Finally, I am reading Violence, Hospitality, and the Cross - Reappropriating the Atonement Tradition - also by future professor of mine Hans Boersma. It is a re-examination and reappropriation of the doctrine of atonement in the context of postmodern philosophical discussion of 'hospitality' and 'violence/exclusion' - two concepts very central in postmodern philosophic discussion. This is a particularly relevant discussion in leu of the modern politic of tolerance (where 'hospitality' to 'the other' is made supreme, and 'exclusion' of another is considered violence and is totally shunned), the present controversies in the church regarding certain (im)moral lifestyle choices, and our culture's question of how both and all-powerful, all-loving God could have created a world in which evil abides, and hell exists and punishment.

...all of that is probably sounding a bit convoluted. that's probably since its 1:00am and i need to sleep, and because i've only ready the intro and ch.1 of the book...

by the way, that's a pic of a friend of mine from Grand Rapids with his wife. their names are Bob and Cindy and they are a tremendous couple and true friends.

Some pics from my new MacBook

2006-08-08T15:28:00.000-04:00

been a while....

2006-07-25T01:28:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've posted....and I won't post much at this very moment; I'm quite tired. But I do want to share that I am typing this post on my new MacBook, which I love.

Recently I've been reading Renovation of the Heart, by Dallas Willard. It is changing the way I think about the world, about the inner life, and about spiritual formation. It is an incredible book; I highly recommend it!

Well, I need to go to bed. Peace.

Grandpa passing away...

2006-02-04T12:51:00.000-05:00

(posted on www.mefchurch.org/forum/real - Jan. 30, 2006)

Hey friends,

I just wanted to share with you about my grandfather passing away. I was at my grandparent's house today; my grandpa was not looking well. You could tell by looking at his face, the color of his skin, the droopiness, that he's close to dying. The Hospice nurse said that he has about 24 hours left. I just received a call from my mom, who is at their house, that his hands and feet are turning blue, his breathing is getting more and more shallow. They don't expect him to last the night. Some of the uncles and aunts are there right now saying goodbye.

Its a strange event for me - I feel fairly distanced from my grandpa; I was never very close to him. Our family became fairly distanced from our relatives when we switched from the catholic church to an evangelical church. So it is strange spending this much time with that side of the famiy, seeing them pray the rosary, seeing them open up and come together and comfort each other. There are moments of laughter as well as of tears. I feel strange, like looking at death from a distance - or maybe up close for the first time. Its an event in life, the end of life, something we all must pass through. I can see how many animistic religions see is simply as part of the cycle. And yet its not supposed to be part of the cycle. Sin in the Bible is an enemy to be conquered by Christ, and came about because of our sin and rebellion.

My grandpa has a stroke a number of months ago that left him speech impaired. Then about a month ago he had another stroke, fell in the bathroom, and lost all of his speech. I remember him a few years back talking about a friend of his who was getting old and lost his sight and ended up committing suicide. My grandpa was really afraid of becoming incapacitated in some basic way. And it happened. And it was tough to see how frusterated and depressed he would get when people couldn't understand him trying to speak, or when he would start to drool at the dinner table without knowing it. We invited him to Christmas dinner but he didn't want to come; Grandma said it was because he was tired of being embarrassed.

Its ugly to see a person begin to die. Its not just the death, maybe not even primarily, unless it's sudden. Its the visible shutting-down, the decay, the degeneration that is so ugly, the slow loss of life and the things that we so often associate with humanness. Maybe that's why people who are dying need, and should be given, such dignity. They feel that their dignity and worth is being taken away, ripped away. And I think that another reason why we must put our faith in, and find our identity deeply rooted in Christ. Otherwise, when we begin to lose the things that we have taken for granted, and have placed our confidence and identity in, we find ourselves in a dark pit of lost-ness and we no longer know who we are (because we never knew who we were to begin with).

Thanksgiving day

2005-11-24T12:33:00.000-05:00

Alright,

its been a while since I've written (to myself). Not much has been going on. i just got back from Louisiana a few days ago. I'll post some pics soon. Have been doing ok, kind of up and down, discouraged with myself mostly...lack of personal discipline, bad decisions, needing God more yet seeking him less, wasting time, etc.

Had a great conversation with Bruce and Carole Winter (elder from church) at their house; i was there something like 5 hours. We talked about a lot of stuff...suffering, belief in God, brokenness and how Midland, MI on the surface seems like such a great place but really there is a lot of broken families, my internship, church life, etc. I learn a lot from them, but mostly I just really appreciate having their love and encouragement. They've made me really feel like part of their family - I guess I need that a lot, personally. Not just formal mentoring or classroom learning but being a part of someone's life, being included in their personal life, and receiving their love, encouragement, and life experience as their 'share and tell.'

Here's a great book I would recommend: Proper Confidence: Faith, Doubt, and Certainty in Christian Discipleship. By Lesslie Newbigin. I really enjoy the book, he's a great writer, a kind of more-scholarly Francis Schaeffer. However, for as much as I read these books on Christian WV (worldview), philosophy, pomo (postmodern) theology, etc... I do not find it really grows my faith. Faith comes from something else, oh that I could 'figure out' faith. Oh that it wasn't just a given thing from God, or something like that. Oh, for more humility and brokenness and not treating life as a game, or a ride. I need more of God...through prayer, through the Word, through experience.

Well, that's not much, but its enough for now. How strange to journal in a public place. But who will really read this? It sure makes you think about what you say, at the least.

Questions of the day: Is the question, "What faith tradition is the true/best tradition?" a legitimate question? If the question is legitimate the second question is, Is there any way of answering that question, realizing that all tradition-judging criteria are rooted themselves in another tradition, subject to other criteria judgement?

REAL Prayer Blog

2005-11-10T12:43:00.000-05:00

REAL Prayer Blog

This is our church group's prayer blog. Check it out and pray with us!

Hear My Cry, Oh God!

2005-11-10T12:17:00.000-05:00

Psalm 61 says:

"Hear my cry, O God,
listen to my prayer;
from the end of the earth I call to you
when my heart is faint.
Lead me to the rock
that is higher than I,
for you have been a strong tower
agains the enemy."

Those are good words for bad times. The last few days have been really stressfull; sometimes I feel all wound up inside, needing to be unraveled or undone - too much anxiety, stress, dissapointment (with myself), etc...and too much introspection. Jeff Andridge told me a while ago, "Instrospection is like salt...a little is good, but too much ruins you." How true. Do you ever feel trapped within yourself, like you'd love to just be released from the constant self-awareness, preocupation, or feelings of depression caused by looking on the inside? Sometimes its just feels impossible to look out and see God, see Christ, and hope.

Today we're taking off for Louisiana, and thank the Lord, I woke up with a positive attitude and a heart of thanks. I definately had to push away some negative thoughts, but today started much better than the last week has been. It feel that it has been grace in a time of need.

Another random thought: "Taste and see that the Lord is good!" Are we as Christians called to the ministry of taste-testing? Is seems like we are called to taste the goodness of God - like a fine wine, or a really good cheese, or some great ribs. And then we're called to be like those wineries that do taste-testing...helping people taste a bit of the presence of God and crave for more. The interesting thing....if we are not tasting the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, what words of life to we have to speak to those around us? What language of love and of fullness can we speak into the souls of our friends and family and co-workers?

Whoever you are, whenever you read this, may Jesus Christ fill you with his peace and grace today. May you have a moment of rest in his presence, and may your soul taste his goodness and love.

WWII Photo...

2005-11-08T22:22:00.000-05:00

i forget what city this overlooks, but what a contrast. Check out the devastation in the first photo. It was taken after the bombing of the German city shown. WWII....what an incredible aweful, enlightening historical event. Just think - in only happened 60 years ago! Do you think that modernity, or modernization of our world civilization, keeps us from violence? Think about 9/11. Think about the fact that the Rowanda genocide occured in the 90's. And consider this stat: First of all, think of the # of people killed on 9/11. Times that by 2.5. That is how many people died in Rowanda. Daily. For 100 days straight. Killed primarily by macheties and automatic weapons. THAT is almost unbelievable. Over 800,000 Tutsis died at a rate that was three times faster than Hitler was at "exterminating" the Jewish people of Europe.

Think about that fact that whatever enabled Hitler and the Natzis to do what they did, and whatever enables so many people to follow him "blindly," and whatever implused the Japanese to slaughter 300,000 Chinese in just a few weeks in "the Raping of Nanking," and whatever part of 'humanness' allowed for the occurance of the Cambodian killing fields, the Chinese "Cultural Revolution," the Soviet Gulag, the current oppression (genocide?) in Sudan, the Abu Ghraib prisioni treatment, the Parisian riots, and thousands of other cases of hatred, oppression, violence, etc...whatever allowed for all of that to happen....is in us.

To quote Os Guiness in his book Unspeakable (where I've pulled most of these stats), "What does it say of us as human beings that the people who do these things are hte same species as we are?" What does it say to us, that whatever evil flowed from people's calloused, numbed hearts in these instances of violence and oppression is also able to flow from my and your heart. We are human, just as any other human. And just as capable of hatred, rape, murder, vengeance, and blinded embittered ruthlessness towards fellow humans. Francis Schaeffer taught that humans are a strange mix of a great nobleness and tragic depravity. What we need is a path toward stopping, reducing, irradicating this evil that lives inside of us. And I do not believe that any government-subsidized program, any education system, or any propoganda of self-help will do it. We are left quite helpless without some help from without. And yet, the Jewish and Christian Scriptures teach that all of reality was created by a personal God who is love and justice and holiness, that all of reality has become corrupt due to us having 'rebelled' (notice the language of relationship) against our creator, and that God has entered the very broken reality that he originally created to be light and truth and lead us back to our Father, help us be changed from the inside out by his Spirit, and lead us towards real life.

What a great story found in the Scriptures. If it is true, what great hope we have! And if it is not believed by the world, what an ultimately hopeless reality it will continue to live and experience. So we are called to walk as pilgrims, as lights of truth and love, in a world without hope and with much dispair and evil.

Katrina Relief Team

2005-11-08T22:09:00.000-05:00

This Thursday night I am heading down to Louisiana with a group of 9 other people, to help out with the relief effort. With all the details of organizing such a trip, its easy to forget temporarily the reasons that I am going down. I am slowly "warming up" to the reality of being down there and what we will experience. I'm sure it will be a very eye-opening experience. I pray that we will be of some service and encouragement to the community down in Covington, LA.

The website of the church we will be serving through is: www. trinitychurchonline.org. Check it out; they have two blogs on the church's situation and their needs.

Pray for us: that we would faithfully serve, have attitudes that please God, and glorify him through our love and selflessness.

The Pearcey Report

2005-10-27T15:05:00.000-04:00

www.pearceyreport.com

Check out the above link! What an awesome web page put together by the Pearceys - news, worldview, politics, ethics, culture - all in a Shaefferian-like spirit. This is, yet again, another fruit of the lives and ministry of Francis and Edith Schaeffer. God bless the L'Abri work and those who are a part of what He is doing.

Rumors of Life

2005-10-27T13:56:00.000-04:00

I had forgotten that I had a blogspot and just remembered and decided to return and leave a quick note to myself...since no one else reads this blog. Hmmm, how sad.

Books I'm reading and loving:

A Refutation of Relavtivism. Peter Kreeft
Inside Out. Larry Crabb.
The Second World War in Color. Steward Rinns. (I'm on a World War 2 history kick at present...)
7 Practices of Effective Ministry. Andy Stanley (...immensly practical...thus the title)
Good to Great. Jim Collins (another practical leadership/management book)
Things We Couldn't Say. Diet Eman (Bio of young Dutch girl who helped hid Jews during WWII)

Movies I'm watching: Band of Brothers (All time favorite war movies!!!)

Spiritual Leadership and Authority

2005-06-14T01:23:00.000-04:00

I have a quote posted on my wall next to my desk that has spoken to me many times. I first posted it on my wall a few years ago, had later filed in, and as I have been moving into a leadership position at church, took it out again and posted it to the wall. I think it reflects something very true about leadership that is truly of God.

"[Spiritual Leadership] is not won by promotion, but by many prayers and tears. It is attained by confession of sin, and much heart-searching and humbling before God; by self-surrender, a courageous sacrifice of every idol, a bold uncomplaining embrace of the corss, and by an eternal, unfaltering looking unto Jesus crucified. It is not gained by seeking great things for ourselves, but like Paul, by counting those things that are gain to us as loss for Christ. This is a great price, but it must be paid by the leaders who would not be merely a nominal but a real spiritual leader of men, a leader whose power is recognized and felt in heaven, on earth , and in hell." -Samuel Logan Brengle, "The Soul-Winner's Secret"

My God help us know the depths of the true spiritual journey so that we might be able to guide others with true wisdom and authority as they pursue the rumors of life in Christ. May we discover true death, so that in dying we might find true life, paradoxical as it may be. May we know the Presence of Christ in experience - that blessed presence that both burns and sooths, tears and heals, and always in the end brings deep peace and almost indescribable satisfaction. Que nuestro Dios siempre nos ilumine con su gracia y amor, y transforme nuestro ser para que seamos recipientes de su persona, sediente y colmado de su justicia y amor.

Some good reading: Spiritual Formation in the Church

2005-05-26T16:18:00.000-04:00

Two books that I spent time reading this morning:

Ancient-Future Evangelism - Making Your Church a Faith-Forming Community, by Robert Webber of the Ancient-Future Faith discussion.

The Spirit of the Disciplines, by Dallas Willard.

I have been wrestling a lot with questions such as, what is authentic spirituality? how can we work towards authentic spirituality? is it largly an individual effort or a communal effort? how can the church be more intentional in its spiritual formation?

These books are both wonderful resources that begin to address those questions; both authors are well-studied in historical theology, reformed philosophy (Willard teaches philosophy at the U. of S. California), and in church history. The historical perspective they provide on the Church's conceptions of spirituality and faith-formation is very helpful for understanding and critiquing my own as a 21st century Evangelical conceptions. The common message that they emphasize is the common, contemporary distinguishing between a convert and a disciple is false, and that discipleship begins in converstion and must move through a continual, life-long process culminating in whole-being transformation and Christian vocation. They also both emphasize that the great responsability for spiritual formation, in the design of God, lies withthe Christian community and its leaders - that the Church would be a community were human beings are being guided through a process of formation where their inner and outer beings are becoming more and more conformed to the teachings and example of Christ.

Willard emphasizes how this formation in actuality leads to the full-fillment of true humanness, as God designed it, in the individual and the community. In other words, human beings will only ever reach their full potential as loving, life-producing, creative, worshiping, peaceful beings as they walk through a process of discipleship after Jesus Christ, led by the Church.

Webber emphasizes how this process traditionally (Church of 2nd & 3rd cen.) had various stages and rites of initiation to those stages which the disciple would pass through. The aim of his book is to understand the early church's method of disciple-making, re-clothe it, and re-energize it for this 21st postmodern age in which the Church seeks to minister.

I recommend both books. They helped me begin to think about how the church must seek to be intentional in forming disciples/leading them in authentic spiritual growth, which implies transformation of a person's character, identity, and worldview. They also provide just enough practical examples and starting points so as to begin to apply the material to your own church situation, without giving you a cardboard cut-out, pre-packaged ministry program.

By the way, descriptions of an author or a book are always more convoluted and obscure than the actual book, so please don't judge these books by my description of them, which is sure to be very lacking. Follow the url links and read about them on Amazon. Or better yet, read them for yourself!

can anyone tell me...

2005-05-25T10:58:00.000-04:00

Can anyone tell me how to upload a pic into my profile? I tried uploading a pic with HELLO! but the url was too long for the field. I'm new at this so if you could leave a comment with instructions I'd greatly appreciate it.

2005-05-25T10:55:00.000-04:00

I hate surprise photos!

Rumors of Life

2005-05-23T15:04:00.000-04:00

There are Rumors of Life are spreading... Whispers of death and hope, thorns and glory, mourning and resurection - they are spread by thirsting hearts who crave for a fountain of living water. Are they true? We must walk down the difficult path, seek to enter the narrow gate, lose our lives, take up the cross, become poor in spirit, hunger and thirst, follow...and then we will see.

"The Holy Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" Let those who hear say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let them come. And whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life." (Rev 22:17 NIV)