Yes, this is a test.

new blog...

hey all you avid readers.... I just transferred my blog to the following address. I'll be posting there from now on. thanks for your flexabilty!

martinmatthew.blogspot.com

see, that's easier to remember. ;-)

(some crazy blog-ets)

on the eve of the leadership summitt

Since i've just realized that I actually have readers of my blog i feel somewhat obliged to write a comment, in the hopes that they will notice and will continue to comment. verily i say unto thee - if thou wouldst please continue to pester me to post while in Regent it will help me more faithfully disclose my inner thoughts and learnings to thee via the web.

my only thought tonight: pride is a deeply difficult sin to uproot. it spreads it tangling vines into all the other sin habits of our lives and prevents us from finding freedom, bliding us to the truth about ourselves and about reality. it is always best to be humbled and to give up the need to defend oneself - even if we think we are right. we ought to have inner joy that we are being humbled and matured and perfected through our circumstances, valuing more our own character of humility that our justification and defense before our friends, family, and community. God wants to make me (us) into people of true character - the character of Jesus - and he was meek and humble. not because he lacked self esteem. but because he had a perfect relationship with his Father that allowed him to be 'humbled' before men, knowing the truth about who he truly was and what he had come to do....and he pressed on to do it.

I'm onto the last chapter of Renovation of the Heart. I can't recommend it enough. Other books I am reading: A Biblical History of Israel, by Ian Provan (my OT prof this coming Fall) - probably the best OT overview I've ever read, because of its solid committment to the Christian tradition and faith and its academic integrity, thoroughness, and honesty. Finally, I am reading Violence, Hospitality, and the Cross - Reappropriating the Atonement Tradition - also by future professor of mine Hans Boersma. It is a re-examination and reappropriation of the doctrine of atonement in the context of postmodern philosophical discussion of 'hospitality' and 'violence/exclusion' - two concepts very central in postmodern philosophic discussion. This is a particularly relevant discussion in leu of the modern politic of tolerance (where 'hospitality' to 'the other' is made supreme, and 'exclusion' of another is considered violence and is totally shunned), the present controversies in the church regarding certain (im)moral lifestyle choices, and our culture's question of how both and all-powerful, all-loving God could have created a world in which evil abides, and hell exists and punishment.

...all of that is probably sounding a bit convoluted. that's probably since its 1:00am and i need to sleep, and because i've only ready the intro and ch.1 of the book...

by the way, that's a pic of a friend of mine from Grand Rapids with his wife. their names are Bob and Cindy and they are a tremendous couple and true friends.

Some pics from my new MacBook

been a while....

It's been a while since I've posted....and I won't post much at this very moment; I'm quite tired. But I do want to share that I am typing this post on my new MacBook, which I love.

Recently I've been reading Renovation of the Heart, by Dallas Willard. It is changing the way I think about the world, about the inner life, and about spiritual formation. It is an incredible book; I highly recommend it!

Well, I need to go to bed. Peace.

Grandpa passing away...

(posted on www.mefchurch.org/forum/real - Jan. 30, 2006)

Hey friends,

I just wanted to share with you about my grandfather passing away. I was at my grandparent's house today; my grandpa was not looking well. You could tell by looking at his face, the color of his skin, the droopiness, that he's close to dying. The Hospice nurse said that he has about 24 hours left. I just received a call from my mom, who is at their house, that his hands and feet are turning blue, his breathing is getting more and more shallow. They don't expect him to last the night. Some of the uncles and aunts are there right now saying goodbye.

Its a strange event for me - I feel fairly distanced from my grandpa; I was never very close to him. Our family became fairly distanced from our relatives when we switched from the catholic church to an evangelical church. So it is strange spending this much time with that side of the famiy, seeing them pray the rosary, seeing them open up and come together and comfort each other. There are moments of laughter as well as of tears. I feel strange, like looking at death from a distance - or maybe up close for the first time. Its an event in life, the end of life, something we all must pass through. I can see how many animistic religions see is simply as part of the cycle. And yet its not supposed to be part of the cycle. Sin in the Bible is an enemy to be conquered by Christ, and came about because of our sin and rebellion.

My grandpa has a stroke a number of months ago that left him speech impaired. Then about a month ago he had another stroke, fell in the bathroom, and lost all of his speech. I remember him a few years back talking about a friend of his who was getting old and lost his sight and ended up committing suicide. My grandpa was really afraid of becoming incapacitated in some basic way. And it happened. And it was tough to see how frusterated and depressed he would get when people couldn't understand him trying to speak, or when he would start to drool at the dinner table without knowing it. We invited him to Christmas dinner but he didn't want to come; Grandma said it was because he was tired of being embarrassed.

Its ugly to see a person begin to die. Its not just the death, maybe not even primarily, unless it's sudden. Its the visible shutting-down, the decay, the degeneration that is so ugly, the slow loss of life and the things that we so often associate with humanness. Maybe that's why people who are dying need, and should be given, such dignity. They feel that their dignity and worth is being taken away, ripped away. And I think that another reason why we must put our faith in, and find our identity deeply rooted in Christ. Otherwise, when we begin to lose the things that we have taken for granted, and have placed our confidence and identity in, we find ourselves in a dark pit of lost-ness and we no longer know who we are (because we never knew who we were to begin with).

Thanksgiving day

Alright,

its been a while since I've written (to myself). Not much has been going on. i just got back from Louisiana a few days ago. I'll post some pics soon. Have been doing ok, kind of up and down, discouraged with myself mostly...lack of personal discipline, bad decisions, needing God more yet seeking him less, wasting time, etc.

Had a great conversation with Bruce and Carole Winter (elder from church) at their house; i was there something like 5 hours. We talked about a lot of stuff...suffering, belief in God, brokenness and how Midland, MI on the surface seems like such a great place but really there is a lot of broken families, my internship, church life, etc. I learn a lot from them, but mostly I just really appreciate having their love and encouragement. They've made me really feel like part of their family - I guess I need that a lot, personally. Not just formal mentoring or classroom learning but being a part of someone's life, being included in their personal life, and receiving their love, encouragement, and life experience as their 'share and tell.'

Here's a great book I would recommend: Proper Confidence: Faith, Doubt, and Certainty in Christian Discipleship. By Lesslie Newbigin. I really enjoy the book, he's a great writer, a kind of more-scholarly Francis Schaeffer. However, for as much as I read these books on Christian WV (worldview), philosophy, pomo (postmodern) theology, etc... I do not find it really grows my faith. Faith comes from something else, oh that I could 'figure out' faith. Oh that it wasn't just a given thing from God, or something like that. Oh, for more humility and brokenness and not treating life as a game, or a ride. I need more of God...through prayer, through the Word, through experience.

Well, that's not much, but its enough for now. How strange to journal in a public place. But who will really read this? It sure makes you think about what you say, at the least.

Questions of the day: Is the question, "What faith tradition is the true/best tradition?" a legitimate question? If the question is legitimate the second question is, Is there any way of answering that question, realizing that all tradition-judging criteria are rooted themselves in another tradition, subject to other criteria judgement?